“Big back” and other fatphobic teen slang have body image experts worried

“I’m so big behind!”

“We’re so big now!”

Welcome to the latest teen lingo — a trending TikTok spin-off that’s become the new language of casual, constant jokes used to poke fun at yourself and eat.

And while many teenagers say the slang is simply meant to be playful, others admit they find it painful, or at least shocking. Experts consider the explosion of this type of slang alarming.

“This is a problem for everyone,” says Zöe Bisbing, psychotherapist for body image and eating disorders. “It has a lot to do with this really, really ingrained anti-fat bias in our culture that normalizes microaggressions toward fat people.”

However, the problem is that the jokes are made by and about skinny girls.

“With this new language, they gave each other permission to comment not only on weight, but on the food itself. So there’s nothing good about it,” says Barbara Greenberg, an adolescent and teen therapist in Connecticut who is familiar with the terminology. wealth. “It goes back.”

Texas high school English teacher and education influencer Chanea Bond recounts wealth she was disturbed as she watched the trend ignite before summer. “This school year has started. At first it was mostly students referring to themselves. But now “big back” is so common in their vernacular that they say it whenever they eat. Also, “You’re fat.” “‘Fatty’ is definitely back,” she says. “I sure wish it would go away.”

Never was that more true for Bond than earlier this week, when her 6-year-old daughter came home from daycare and asked, “Mommy, do I have the biggest behind?” After some digging, Bond found out that her child was told by the teacher that she had “the biggest behind” after asking for extra crackers at snack time.

“I asked if he hurt her feelings. I told her that her body is in proportion and that if she wants an extra snack, she can have an extra snack without anyone commenting on her body,” says Bond, who shared the exchange with her daughter on X, where she was watched over 1.3. millions of times, eliciting lots of supportive responses.

This big back business is fatphobia. My 6 year old coming home and asking me if he has the “biggest back” because he wanted extra crackers at snack time is NOT cute or funny.

Time to wrap it up.

— Classroom Madness (@heymrsbond) July 10, 2024

She notices that the young teacher – who Bond plans to talk to about the situation – is probably not much older than her students. “I don’t think she meant to be hurtful,” she says. But she showed Bond that the trend, despite her desire to calm down over the summer, is “definitely still very much there”.

What “big back” and other terms mean – and how we got here

As with so many troubling trends, the latest form of fat talk can be traced back to TikTok — specifically, to a “behind the scenes” video trend (currently with over 174 million posts) that appears to be peaked in the spring. This involved sharing videos with one of two themes: 1) showing yourself eating a lot or someone else eating a lot (usually someone skinny) with comments about “big back” behavior, or 2) stuffing your clothes to -makes your back (or even a baby’s) look bigger and then either runs to get food or, once again, just eats.

Those videos in turn led to criticism of the trend, with some calling it “making fun of fat people” and “creating new insecurities.” Then came the videos that seemed to poke fun at the trend.

But what does “big back” actually mean? That’s where things get complicated, as many have noticed that the term and possibly the trend seem to have roots in African American English (AAE) and black spaces online. But the trend is “fairly new, so there hasn’t been a lot of research done on it,” says Kimberley Baxter, a PhD candidate in linguistics at New York University who specializes in AAE.

NYU linguistics professor Renee Blake says the term has roots in “the Black London community, meaning ‘derrière’ in a positive light” and has only become negative through appropriation.

Baxter theorizes that “big back” has become “a term to be applied to all fat people, but also to people who engage in stereotypes associated with fat” and that it has links to the term “badly built” as well as the old one. “built like a linebacker” school. She notes that she was recently propelled by social media, in part, by reactions to a popular TikTok series by Reese Teesa.

Its origins have led some — including a therapist who goes by Therapy Dojo on TikTok — to say that current uses of “big back” feel like “cultural appropriation” and can make white criticism of the trend feel as “policing black culture.” .” This despite the therapist’s belief that the term, on its face, is “absolutely fathomless”.

Lizzo even chimed in, calling the trend “horribly fatphobic,” but noting that the term was just “something black people say” and that it wasn’t until it “turned into a trend” that it “got out of hand,” with people using it “in a harmful way”.

The nuance is why Bisbing says he sees “big back” and “fat” as “two distinct phenomena.”

However, “big back” is now used interchangeably with other current terms in the field, including “fat” and “biggie,” according to teenagers across the country.

“‘Big-back’ is something you say to your friends when they’re eating, like ‘Oh, you have such a big back, you ate four cookies!’ F., a 16-year-old New Jersey, says wealth. (The young people in this article are referred to by their initials to protect their privacy.) “It is only said when a person is eating. But you would never call your overweight friend a “big butt.” She feels her rise in popularity could be due to the “backlash” to the body positivity movement, noting: “Like, it was OK to look like Lizzo, but then suddenly it’s not OK anymore.”

“I think people say it casually,” says S., 17, from Massachusetts. “I didn’t hear them say that to insult people. It’s more of a self-deprecating joke.”

S., 17, from Rhode Island, agrees. “I definitely think it can be harmful to some, but to me, I think it’s funny. I certainly wouldn’t say that about a fat person,” she says, “but I’ve heard other people (do it).”

L., 16, from Connecticut, explains, “We say, ‘Hey, fat,’ like you’re saying, ‘You’re so stupid.’ It’s an insult, but it’s playful, you know what I mean? I’ll often say “I’m so inclined right now” as if someone offered me part of my lunch and I’d eat it all… It seems like a joke. But,” she adds, “in a way, I think it reinforces the mental bias.”

That’s why fat-phobic jargon worries experts

“There are so many layers to this because there’s been such a movement to reclaim words like ‘big’ or ‘fat’ to use as a neutral descriptor for people who feel strongly about fat positivity,” she notes educator and parent coach Oona. Hansen, who specializes in helping families fight diet culture. Instead, the terms reverted to being used as insults mocking someone’s size or appetite. “This tends to reinforce the idea that if you’re in a bigger body, you’re always consuming massive amounts of food. It reinforces that notion of greed.”

The fact that they are mostly “skinnier white women” is no coincidence, she adds, because of “the background of diet pills and people not having an appetite and linking appetite and body size. I think it really reinforces harmful ideas about both body size and food and makes it socially acceptable to comment on people’s bodies.”

Greenberg fears it could encourage secret eating among teenage girls. “It increases feelings of self-awareness, social-emotional feelings of shame and embarrassment,” she says.

What highlights the trend, Bisbing believes, is that “fat phobia and anti-fat bias are still super acceptable.”

And while this is “a problem for everybody,” she says, “where we’ve really seen it, seriously injured teenagers is where there’s a peer group with a minority of kids who are in larger bodies… Because language that’s used in this playful way is going to strike a very different chord with a kid who’s actually fat.”

Using language, she adds, “almost creates this invisibility for the actual fat kid in the group—and then also a hypervisibility.”

Finally, it is harmful because children who are not in larger bodies do not express so subtly that they would not want to be — basically saying, with a “big behind,” ” “We try not to be like that,” Bisbing explains, while ” “I’m so fat” is more like “It’s such a terrible thing. Ew, look at me!

“I think everyone is hurt by this discourse because it perpetuates a cultural norm that makes it really difficult to establish emotional safety for everyone,” she says. “So I’m more concerned about the collective harm, in a way whether they know it or not — and they don’t — that contributes to an oppressive culture.”

How to address the potential evil of the trend with your children

“I don’t think it’s a one-and-done conversation for a family or a parent,” offers Bisbing, who notes that in an ideal scenario, you’ll have already had so many other “values-oriented conversations about body oppression in us. culture.”

If it wasn’t, she says, this could be a conversation starter—and an opportunity not only to address this specific jargon, but to point out that this is just one example of a societal problem.

And remember, she suggests, that “when you have a teenager, you have no control over what they say.” But it’s worth it to roll their eyes and probably hear you on some level if you say, “I’m just letting you know: it’s oppressive. Even if your friends are laughing, I bet they’re hurting inside.” Make it clear that you’re not going to lecture, but emphasize that the issue is about feminism, anti-racism, and general social justice.

“Find those connecting dots between this stupid trend and how absolutely oppressive it is and help them connect the dots,” she says.

Hansen suggests approaching your teen or tween with curiosity, perhaps saying, “Tell me more about the trend. How are your friends using it? Do you think they feel the same way?”

With a child who might be really upset about it, help them talk and figure out how they want to respond the next time someone throws the terms around. “I think teenagers come up with better ideas than us in general,” she says. It’s also helpful not to overreact or shut them down if they come to you with the problem, because they might not come to you next time.

In conclusion, Hansen says, “For parents, it’s an opportunity to think about how you’re building your child’s skills in navigating awkward social conversations and social media. It will continue to evolve, but it’s really about, can you connect with your teenager? Can you have a conversation that sparks critical thinking?”